Blonde Jokes

 

Q: How can you tell which computer a blonde was using?

A: There is white-out on the screen.

Desert Island

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are stuck on a deserted island. One day the red head found a magic lamp. She rubbed it and a genie came out. He said, “For letting me out, I will grant each of you one wish.” So the brunette says, ” I wish I were with my boyfriend.” So she disappers and is taken to her boyfriend’s house. The red head says, “I wish I were with my family.” Then she disappers into her family’s house. Then the blonde says, “Aw, I’m lonely, I wish my friends were here.”

Painting Contractor

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “green side up!” In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “green side up!” The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing. In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “green side up!” The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’?” “I’m sorry,” came the reply. “But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

House Fire

A dumb blonde calls the fire department and says, “Help me- my house is on fire!!” The fireman says, “Where do you live?”

The dumb blonde replies, “I don’t know”

The fireman asks, “How do you expect us to get there?”

The dumb blonde replies sarcastically, “Duhhhh, the little red truck”

Jamaica

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.

The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica. The head stewardesses doesn’t even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.

The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, I told her the front half of the airplane wasn’t going to Jamaica.