Sex in Public Places

Fantasies about having sex in public are common. Public sex consists of actually doing sexual behaviors � such as flashing, streaking, solitary or mutual masturbation, fellatio, and vaginal or anal intercourse � in places where other people could potentially see the sex acts. Both men and women may find it a turn-on to think that they might be discovered in a "compromising position," but fewer people actually carry out these acts than merely fantasize about them.

The Biological Basis of Excitement

Part of the excitement of thinking about or doing public sex derives from the fear of being caught. Fear triggers a set of changes in the body called the "fight-or-flight response." The fight-or-flight response is really just an umbrella term for these biological changes: increased adrenaline, increased pulse rate, heavier breathing, tensed muscles, as well as a few other changes. These changes are quite similar to the biological reactions the body undergoes when sexually aroused. In fact, many of the chemicals that signal sexual arousal are the same ones that signal fear or anxiety. External context and self-analysis are important for the brain in interpreting the chemical signals as anxiety or sexually arousal. The similar hormone signals allow fear or anxiety to be interpreted as sexually sexually arousing.

Also note that the centers of our brain that control fear, anxiety and sexual arousal are located very close to each other in the neural system. This proximity adds to the possibility of entwining fear, anxiety and sexual arousal.

Popular Places for Sex in Public

Parked cars are arguably the most popular place for couples to engage in public sex. This may be because cars are technically in the public sphere, but are familiar to the couple. Parked cars also provide some protection from getting caught or being seen (depending on where the car is parked). Cars may be parked along infrequently traveled roads called "lover's lanes."

Public sex can also occur in elevators, libraries, barns, fields, phone booths, pitched tents, public restrooms, clothing-retail changing rooms and movie theatres. It can be done at truck stops, playgrounds, woods, gondolas, ski lifts, taxi cabs, miniature golf courses, benches, parks, patios, balconies, airplanes and beaches.

In an emerging phenomenon that is still being studied, men who identify as heterosexual may engage in oral sex with other men in "tearooms" which are men's public restrooms.

The Mile High Club

The term "Mile High Club" refers to those people who have engaged in sexual activity (such as sexual intercourse) at an altitude of no less than 5,280 ft (a mile high above the earth) in an airplane.

The desire to have sex on an airplane is so great that Virgin Airlines (and other jetliners) have begun to offer special arrangements for couples. For a price, Virgin Airlines offers special upper class suites with double beds. While the Virgin Airlines website does not overtly recognize the beds as being for sex, this purpose can be extrapolated from the design.

Motivations for Having Sex in Public

Space: Often public sex becomes an option when there is simply nowhere else to go. Anxious adolescents may choose the back seat of a car instead of their parents' house. Similarly, college students may search for private places on their college campuses because of crowded dorms or ever-present roommates.
Urgency: There are times in sexual relationships when both partners feel especially lusty and believe that sex must take place as soon as possible. Under the influence of strong sexual desire, caution may be thrown to the wind and any semi-public location becomes suitable for sex.
Bragging Rights: Sometimes people are presented with the opportunity to have sex in a place so unique or wild that they will engage in sex simply for the ability to brag about it afterwards. While the sex may not have been extremely enjoyable or brought on by lust, it is viewed as an opportunity to relive (and perhaps embellish) the act and take satisfaction in having done something distinctive. Such "braggable" spots include places such as the rim of the Grand Canyon, the top floor of the Empire States Building, or during mid-flight on an airplane.

Legend: Certain places have a reputation as fun places to have sex, even if they may be not very practical in reality. The beach is an example of a romanticized place to have sex in spite of potential discomfort from the sand and surf. Airplane bathrooms also have a reputation for being a popular place to have sex, despite real-life drawbacks. Sex in hot tubs can also be glamorized despite its potential health hazards.
Variety: For some couples, doing new things and keeping life novel is important. The quest for varied experience may lead people to have sex in phone booths, elevators, dark dance clubs, trains, and on ski lifts.
Being Naughty: Some people are taught as children and teenagers that sex is dirty or naughty, and associate sex with being naughty. Having sex in a forbidden place may add to the overall excitement of doing a little naughty sex.

The Dangers of Having Sex in Public

Having sex is normally an intimate experience. Having sex in public exposes a normally private behavior to an unknown audience who may be hostile, perverted or retaliatory. Exposing sex to unknown onlookers creates a risk of attack, robbery, stalking, blackmail and sexual assault.

Here are some examples of how sexual acts in public can be dangerous:

Men who have sex with men (abbreviated MSM) are especially at risk of violent reprisal from homophobic strangers.
Women who flash their breasts are at risk of being sexually assaulted. Flashing can be misinterpreted as publicizing a desire to have sex and can single out the flasher as a sexual target.
Isolated lovers lanes can become targets of psychopaths (such as "The Son of Sam" from the 1970's), although such occurrences are very rare.
Sex in public can easily be photographed, especially with the rising popularity of cell-phone cameras. Photos can be spread on the internet or used for blackmail.

Having sex in public can cause legal trouble and long-term social embarrassment. Many people who engage in public sex enjoy the thrill of potentially being exposed, but really do not want to be discovered. Unwanted exposure from the police, the media, "Girls Gone Wild" or the Internet can be very embarrassing. Unwanted exposure can make it difficult to regain a feeling of self-control and a good reputation in the community.

Sexual activity with an unknown partner always carries the risk of transmitting an STD. Men who have sex with unknown men in public restrooms are especially at risk of contracting HIV/AIDS and other STD's. Men who engage in "tearoom" sex normally identify themselves as heterosexual, and may not even think of themselves as being at risk of contracting an infection. These men are less likely than men who identify as homosexual to use protection such as condoms and less likely to get an STI test after possible exposure.

When Sexual Activities in Public Become a Problem

Many forms of public sexual expressions are illegal because they violate public indecency laws. Some people believe that engaging in public sex is a victimless crime, especially when the chances of being caught or being offensive are very low. However, sex in public can cause several problems for the larger community:

Public sex can offend inadvertent witnesses. Having unwanted sexual visuals exposed to someone against their will is a type of sexual assault.
Public sex can interfere with the intended use of the public space.
Condoms, lubricants, and other sexual materials that are not disposed of properly contribute to litter, tend to be unattractive, and can be potentially harmful to children, animals and the environment.

Sexual activity can become a problem when a sexual aggressor seeks to shock a victim. This is a coercive, or forced, sexual fetish, or paraphilia, called exhibitionism. Normally, the paraphiliac will masturbate to memories of the experience afterwards eroticizing the activity by so doing. Exhibitionism harms the victims by making them feel unsafe, as though they do not have control over their lives. Coercive paraphilias normally require sexual therapy.

Tips for Having Sex in Public

Before deciding to have sex in public, please read through the dangers of having sex in public and when sexual activities in public become a problem. Here are some suggestions that should help minimize the negative effects of sex in public and help create enjoyable experiences.

Try to pick areas and times that will not be too crowded.
Try not to be too loud.
Have sex in a backyard, back porch, or patio. These locations keep the excitement of outdoor sex without the risk of actual discovery.
When choosing bathroom stalls, choose a remote location and pause when others enter.
Do not use the handicapped stall in bathrooms or changing rooms. Using the handicapped stall blocks access for people who might be inconvenienced by excitement seekers.
Do not enter the rendezvous point at the same time.
Enlist a lookout.
When having sex in a car, choose a deserted road or parking lot and turn off all external and internal car lights.
For changing rooms, pick stores that are large, less popular, have several changing room stations and employ a skeleton staff.
Respect other's wishes if you are confronted and asked to leave. Apologize profusely.
If confronted by the police, remain calm, apologetic and submissive. Remember that the police are just trying to do their jobs.
Make sure you can exit quickly if you are discovered and asked to leave.
Always carry and use at least one lubricated condom.
For outdoors areas such as lawns, fields or beaches, bring blankets or towels to put on the ground. Outdoor environments can be rough, wet or uncomfortable.
Bring towels for areas near water in case you both get wet.
Wear clothes that are easy to put on and take off such as sweatpants, sandals, etc.
Wear clothes you don't mind getting dirty, or bring a fresh pair of clothes. Many public places will get clothes wet or stained.
Make sure to open your windows a crack to keep the windows from fogging up.
Clean up afterwards. Use a trash can or bring plastic bags to dispose of used condoms, wrappers or other sex paraphernalia.
Bring whatever toiletries you might need to clean yourself up afterwards, such as brushes, deodorants, makeup, hair gel, etc.
Avoid sex with strangers, who would be less likely to disclose if they have an infection.
Use a condom for sex acts, especially with strangers.
Do not drink alcohol or use drugs before or during sex in public. Drugs and alcohol can interfere with you ability to make wise judgments. Drugs and alcohol may also compound legal trouble if the police get involved.
Try to bring at least one cell phone and make sure its batteries are charged.
If you are having sex in a remote location, such as a hiking trail, be sure to tell someone where you will be. At the very least leave a note. This way rescue teams will know where to look in case something happens.
Bring a small and legal form of self-protection � such as pepper-spray, tasers, etc � in case of an attack. Make sure to check with your local laws first. Alternatively, you can bring a whistle to alert others in the event of an attack.
Avoid sex in areas where you feel unsafe. Sex can always be postponed or relocated to another, safer location.
Check for registered sex offenders who might prowl your area, perhaps using sex offender database:registeredoffenderslist.org.

References:

Kalat, James W., Fridlund, Alan J., Revlin, Russell. Psychology: An Introduction to the Science of the Mind. University of California, Santa Barbara. (2006) Thomson Wadsworth. Thomson Corporation.

Blair, David C and Lanyon, Richard I. "Exhibitionism: Etiology and Treatment." Psychology Bulletin 89.3 (1981) 439-463.

"Illicit Sexual Activity in Public Places" U.S. Department of Justice, Problem-Oriented Guides for Police. Problem-Specific Guides Series No. 33. Office of Community Oriented Policing Services.http://www.cops.usdoj.gov/mime/open.pdf?Item=1460 (Viewed 5/1/2007)

"Twice as nice! Virgin Atlantic offers upper class passengers suite-er dreams with double suites onboard". Virgin Atlantic Press Release. Virgin Atlantic Ltd. http://www.virgin-atlantic.com/en/gb/allaboutus/pressoffice/pressreleases/news/pr011004b.jsp (Viewed 5/1/2007)

The Mile High Club, PKDAL Enterprises, LLC. (Updated 20 December 2006) http://www.milehighclub.com (Viewed: 5/1/2007)

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Friday, September 4, 2009